because i'm happy | a little vent

17:28

Hey lovelies, I hope your week's started off okay! Recently I've learnt to really appreciate what you've got. The last two weeks I've acted in such a selfish and self-centred manner and for some reason did not realise until my flatmates told me straight. They'd been acting a bit strangely around me and did not think at first I was the cause of this. Sounds stupid, but I genuinely did not take into account anyone else's feelings and thus failed to notice they were annoyed at me.

In short, I've pissed off many people close to me recently and those who told me the honest truth really opened my eyes. I had a little cry and felt sorry for myself for a bit then decided to suck it up and remember that I was at fault here not the people I've mistreated. It was such an odd transition, I went from being so down in the dumps to liberated in the space of a few hours!

I had many realisations about how I'd acted towards everyone the last few weeks. Blanking people, purposefully excluding people, going out of my way to avoid social events, making others people feel dumb, I felt so guilty when it all hit me.  I just couldn't understand how I'd acted so despicably without feeling remorse. You may be wondering why on earth I'm telling you all about this, blogging is supposed to be a very positive thing. But I feel this attitude explains why I had such a mind blank for a month, being perfectly happy with the amount of regular views without making much effort at all. It's bizarre, having just nothing at all to say.

But this change in my mindset has made me more determined to make an effort with my content again, and to be more organised. I set out as soon as I realised all this stuff to make it right again with my flatmates as well - the guilt was unbearable. And since then I've felt very at ease with them all again, we get on brilliantly and I've been a fool to ignore them when I should've opened up to them instead about my odd behaviour. Perhaps then they wouldn't have taken it personally, I treated so many people like this.

So what I'm trying to say, is that we should never take the important people in our lives for granted. I suppose the buzz of meeting so many new people at once can make us forget the people we've met at the start, the ones who have been for you from the beginning. I'm so grateful they've been forgiving, we're having a lot of fun altogether again (: Honesty is the key. If those close to you really value your friendship, they'll be completely honest if you've not been acting yourself, they won't sugar coat things. And from this, I've remembered who I need to keep close to my chest, and for this reason I feel ever so content.  


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